Blog post #27 of #ShiftYourHabits by Dace Pavloviča
Shift Your Habits
Today let's talk about the most important relationship in your life. And how it affects your interaction with outer world.
Each of us faces with different challenges in our life. Outer world changes very fast now.
And we can affect almost nothing there - in outer world. Nobody is protected from something unexpected to happen in their lives. We can't control other people. Events happening for us.
At the same time, we don't experience the same events in our lives. For some of us it is very hard to overcome hardships. Almost as the end of the world. We can easily go in blaming state, live with lot of fears daily, almost each step we make seems like climbing the hill. Also one part of us lives like a hot knife through butter. Like going with flow. Everything seems to come easily and smoothly for them.
Why is it so? What makes this difference for us?
Yes, it is true. It is all about your relationship with... yourself. And the way how you look in this world. Your attitude to yourself. It will dictate the way you see the world around you and will attract people who will mirror your own relationship with yourself.
Before we dive deeper, try to find answers to those questions below:
"What is my attitude to myself? How I treat myself daily?"
"What words do I usually say to myself when something unexpected happens (at the same - challenging) in my life"?
At the first sight, very simple questions. But the answers will reveal a lot for yourself. Truth for yourself.
When we (unconsciously) put our focus on what others say and how others treat us, we can't notice this truth. That one. Outer world just mirrors our inner one for us.
We sometimes are judging ("How he / she could do so to us?"), sometimes -trying to give lessons for someone for their attitude. But if to look deeper:
"How do you treat yourself? Is not it so, that in mostly cases people just mirror you? Your attitude to yourself?"
Try to shift your focus. Try to notice what is behind it.
If you are experiencing lies in your life, when YOU ARE TELLING lies to yourself? What are those situations you are not honest with yourself?
If you experience betrayal in your live, where have you betrayed yourself?
If you experience someone screaming at you, where are you "screaming to yourself"?
I believe you got the idea.
MIRROR. People are just mirroring and reflecting for you your "weak" sides. Showing the direction you should look deeper in yourself.
Once this understanding comes, we can become released. Free. Not trying to judge anymore, and understanding comes instead.
Nobody for us in this world can change our relationship with ourselves. At the same time you already know - there is no closer friend to yourself as you. You are spending all the time together with you. You can become incredibly strong inspiration source for yourself (always supporting yourself, be very focused on solutions, trying to notice positive and bright side in each even in your life). And you can become destroying to yourself (if you are having destructive self-talks, not accepting you, being unsatisfied with everything you do and so on).
You make the choice. Outer world will reflect your inner one.
And to accept yourself doesn't mean that you don't have to look for inner growth. It simple means - your growth will become easier process for you. Through cooperation with yourself. Without inner fight. And it brings a lot of peace in your life. When you realize - you don't have to fight anybody (especially to yourself) else. It's all about you and your vision. Your attitude to yourself.
It is the most effective way (acceptance of yourself, everything you feel, everything you do), how you can lessen your fears, your anxiety also. When you stop running away from yourself, but choose cooperating instead. When you stop self-criticism. When you start to observe your own attitude to yourself. And don't put your focus somewhere outside.
When you consciously choose and say those words to yourself:
"I love myself. I support myself. No matter what events will come in my life, I believe in myself. That I can overcome and learn from it. It is happening for me. To help me grow. To become the best version of myself. On my own terms, on my own pace. I am free. To be truly me. And I choose this peace and freedom for me. Let it go, what doesn't serve well in my life. Let inspiring and bright events come in my life."
Founder of Shift Your Habits